Somethings can never be explained

Some say its stupid

Some say its idiotic-ness

Some say its nonsense

Some say its chemistry

Some say its spark

Some say its understanding
Some say its fire
Some say it will get over

Some say it will last forever

Some say its love

Its been 7 long years and we are still standing tall…

I say its my life and I know I cant stay without it……………….!!!

Dedicated to Mr Duboise..!

I am back almost after 5 months...! Had a very tight schedule all this while... There were so many things I wanted to share and write but bloody work is just not allowing me... On the otherhand I cant stopping loving my work.. Off late I have been contradicting to almost everything I say or do...


I want to quit my job but I love my work...
I love being away from my family but miss them the most...
I love Vish but I fight with him the most...
I love shopping but regret each time I come back home with all fancy stuff..


Don’t know what phase of life I am into...

And then I remember what Mr. Duboise said to me
"Sandipa, I dont have a job that gives great money.
But I have time to see sun rise and set every day.
I have time to read this is what I love doing.
I have time to cook and watch movies not only on weekends but weekdays.
I want money to buy me a living and not luxury..
I am doing what I want to do."

I was speechless and we both went quite. He looked at me and said "Let me get u the finest wine of France because thats what you you need now" 

It was the greatest wine I ever tasted..

And since then I am thinking can I ever be like Mr Duboise??
I guess not..!

What was I doing?

My last visit home was meant only for a week but then my mum’s senti dialogues made me extend it by a week more. I had a mission for these days, capturing the best my city has to offer which I mostly did during the afternoons. However, evenings were not spared. My mum made me accompany her for almost all the daily soaps that she loved watching. 15 days and there I go……

• Pavithra Rista: Regular Saas Bahu story with loads of masalas. Saas’s character is my mum fav she keeps saying poor bahu I can certainly understand her situation. I did not bother to ask her what she understood.
• Uttaran: A triangular love story that is getting transformed in to square now. Such an idiotic tale.
• Baalika Vadhu: Nice concept but now no longer on the same track.
• Agle janam mohe….: Love story of a mistress, if I understood it correctly.
• Jyoti: Again a love story mixed with so many concepts that you fail to understand where its heading.
• Laagi tujse lagan: Pretty poor girl made to look ugly by her mum, escapes from a cop who hits on her. She falls in love with her employer who loves someone else unaware of her beauty, gosh..!
• Maan Uthal Varayacha – Marathi: Village girl married to a filthy rich boy in Mumbai. Plot is all about her struggle in getting accustomed to her new lifestyle and family. 

To my surprise after returning to Bangalore I started literally started tracking these dailies. Believe me its fun to watch and predict the next big thing. Its always someone dieing, escaping or some jerk hopping in from no where with those extra sound effects and multi dimensional angles. It turned out to be the ultimate end to my boredom in Bangalore when my assignment was getting over and I had minimal work to do.


Heights of my insanity was crossed when I and mum started discussing it over the phone. That’s when I said enough and thanked IPL for making the entry at the right time. Otherwise, god knows what would have had happened to me. 

Table Manners

How important it is for us to know what table or eating manners are?

I hardly know any and I feel it’s not really important unless you irritate someone sitting beside to such an extent that he leaves the table.

Like any normal person I like to keep the area where I eat, spotless so that no one feels dirty while having food with me or after I am done. Recently, while having lunch at S2 I seem to have scared a guy sitting beside my table.

I and friend decided to go to S2 after a long argument over which cafeteria to select that day. I hate going to S2 because it’s congested, there are no juices or fruits available and last but not least I need to walk a few extra blocks to go there. However, I agreed to go because I had no intention of eating alone.

I bought fruits from JJ and while my friend was buying his lunch at S2, I decided to find a place for both us to sit. After scanning a few tables, I found one which was clean and in center of two groups. On my left there were 4 ladies and on the right a group of 3, two men and one girl. I made myself comfortable and while waiting for my company to join me, I took a look around. Group on my left was busy with some office gossip. I tried eavesdropping but could not understand so gave up and on turning to right my interest got fixed on one of three persons sitting on that table.

They were thru with their meals and were chit chatting something, I believe, in Tamil. Gradually my gaze drifted to their plates, not to forget I was starving and I saw something that really made me feel disgusted. Out of the three, the guy who grabbed my attention, seemed to have eaten Veg. Biryani.

Now, its Biryani served at Wipro so please consider the generosity our Wipro caterers show. Apart from adding rice, vegetables and ground spices to Biryani they also add considerable amount of whole spices. Mostly commonly found are cardamoms, cinnamon sticks, bay leaves, cloves and pepper and at times you literally think if it’s Veg Biryani or spice biryani you having.

This guy seems to have not liked the variety of spices added to his biryani, in fact, any one in his place would dislike it. However, what sickened me was the 2 inches tall mountain he made next to his plate on the table. Now, that really is irritating especially when you’re not done with your meal. I understand it’s waste and uneatable but let it be in your plate and if you are not comfortable having food while it is in then at least put it back in your plate, once you are thru.

I disliked it and decided to make it obvious to him. So I gave him a disgusted look. First, I looked at the waste for some 30 secs and then at him. His attention was on what his friend was talking so I decided to continue looking at him until he gets to know someone is staring him. He did realize that but seemed to have not understood. And before he could misunderstand my stare, I shifted my eyes at my JJ fruit box. After a gap of 30 odd secs, I again got back the same disgusted look on my face, looked at the waste next to his plate and then him. Bingo, he understood my intention but decided not to act. So I looked at the table to my left which was relatively clean and back to the waste and him with my face covering the same look. He still did not react which did increase my temper but before I could do some thing my friend called and asked where I was sitting.

My focus got distracted; I tracked my friend and waved him to come over. In a minute’s time he joined me at the table and I forgot what I was doing because as usual I got engulfed in office gossip.

After sometime I recalled my motto at S2 that day and told my friend about the guy and his spice mountain. The moment I finished telling him the way I displayed irritation, we both looked at the guy and his plate.

I was surprised to see the waste mountain back his plate. I was satisfied and had my lunch with immense pleasure and peace.

Later that day I wondered if I really had scared him or he realized my intention.

Gender Biasing

While submitting VOW survey in the end I was asked reason of my dissatisfaction with my organization. I had mentioned Gender Biasing with a hope that things might change. However, I forgot some plea always falls on deaf ears.

My aggravation increases every time I see Group Announcements on Women of XXXXX (org name is masked) and how good XXXXX is treating it’s female audience. May be good things are happening to the Women in XXXXX, however at certain level only.

I am with this team and unit from past year and half now and it is one of the most disappointing experience I ever had. I believe we the women are not inferior to men. I come from a background where my parents and teachers always told that women are no where less than men.

But after coming here I am forced to change my perception and belief. Not at one occasion but at many I have been told that men are superiors. Indira Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi or Indra Noori any one would have done better if they would have been a MAN. When I argue back I see it’s not one person but whole bunch of gentlemen ready to tell me where all females fall back.

I have seen my manager chucking out females because they were either not performing good or were not good at communication or were introvert. Then I see few gentlemen around me from past many years, who have worse qualities then the above ones, but still not only manager but the management find them productive.

• They make you cry in front of the whole team but they are valuable resources.
• They shout at you even in front of your manager but they are outstanding performers.
• You see them being partial when it comes to giving opportunity to girls but they are best decision makers.
• They threat you by saying they will screw your appraisal if you try and raise your voice. You fall to silence.
• You work like a donkey make sure deliverables are made on time and then you see them taking away your glory. When you raise your voice they say, sorry, next time we will see what to do.

Question is, what initiative XXXXX would confirm to take to forbid such biasing? Or is that some automated emails comes with some stories saying how good Wipro is treating its female fraternity.

Awful killing of a Monster

He came in from the front door, looked at me and shamelessly entered my house without my permission.

First, he went to my computer then leisurely took a walk in my living room and again looked at me. It seemed as if he was waiting for my reaction. I was scared to death and to react. Also not to forget, I knew the consequences of my reaction, if I had one. I hated every site of his but was helpless and did nothing.

He stared at me for a while more and on getting no response, started exploring my house. After venturing the drawing room he tried getting in to kitchen. For a moment I thought of locking him in the kitchen but before my thought could become a reality he came back in to the living room.

He went on to my computer again and looked at the ceiling as if trying to find something up there. Then stepped back and again looked at the ceiling. But this time I was unable to understand what he was thinking or just studying every corner of my house. And just then it struck me, he wanted to get acquainted with my house, but that was something I would never let happen.

On the contrary, I did not have the guts to look at him and get him out, though it was my house. By now, I looked like a newly wedded girl sitting in a corner, scared,confused and freaked out and he was the boy of the house. It looked like he enjoyed every moment I passed in fear.

I called my father to tell him about his arrival. Daddy was in meeting and asked to me to clam down and before I could add anything more he disconnected the call.

I did not know he had such a power to make to feel so weak and vulnerable. The only thing I could think of was to ignore him and occupy my mind with something else so I switched on the TV. On doing that he came closer as if the program interested him and started leaping over the sofa. I was scared to death but decided to stay clam and ignore him.

After a while, on getting no reaction, he decided to see the veranda so he walked out of the house. I knew this was the only opportunity to close the door and never let him in ever. Somehow, I gathered the power and got on my feet to close the door. Each step of mine was still to make sure he does not know what I was doing, I closed the door halfway thru and before I could completely shut it, he jumped right in-front of me. I screamed and ran back to where I was sitting. I did scare him with my loud yell but he was back to normal in no time.

I again concentrated on TV to deceive him and he was. He started the same thing again, getting on to my computer, analyzing the ceiling, leaping over the sofa.

My last hope was bro, who was upstairs. After 30 mins, I heard some steps approaching towards the front door. I prayed to god for letting that person be my bro. He was the only one to rescue me from this monster and my prayers were heard. It was Richi, my bro.

I quickly demonstrated about his arrival and my trauma since then. Richi, quickly went into the store room, got a bamboo stick for himself, about 4 feet tall and handed over a groom stick to me.

"Dont worry, I’m here now we will kill him if he decides to stay here" bro assured me. His words eased me and I gained the confidence to either kill this monster or get him out of my house.

"Stay where you and if you see him running behind the TV or behind the couch just shoo with your groom stick, OK?" I agreed and nodded.

Bro moved the computer table made noises to scare him. Rather, he tried conveying it to him that his sister isn't alone anymore. It worked, in no time he jumped out and went behind the sofa where he was leaping and having fun a while ago.

"Be careful, I am sure now he will jump behind the TV and then it would be difficult for us to get him out." I agreed. Bro came towards the sofa but he wasn't there, instead he went behind the TV and now I was scared. I knew the next thing he will do is either jump on the couch where I was sitting or quickly by pass the couch and enter kitchen. However, bro seem to have handled such assholes before so he closed the kitchen door and the front door first and winked at me. "Its just the three of us in this rooms now, its do or die, do u understand. Do not be scared, we will kill him……"

And he jumped on me, scaring the shit out of me. I hopped and got on to the high chair which was in the middle of the room.

Bro attacked, his first hit was on his butts, however, no damage. Soft couch saved him. And on seeing the brutal attack he got prepared to fight back.

He jumped on the floor and ran towards me but I shooed him away with my groom stick. I did not realize, I was standing on the chair and screaming “You are dead”. My loud voice did scare him and forced him to move towards the open space between the front door and kitchen door, both closed.

That was the ill fated decision he took and while running to escape he did not see the blow following him and hitting him on this head. Bang..!!

His dieing eyes looked at me and bro gave another jolt. It was over and the monster died. Bro picked him up by his tail, he was black in color and hardly 3 cms long, and threw him out. I am sure it was a HE because of the way he looked at me and scared me.

He surely would have become a feast for someone out there....

Sneaky Peaky and cell phone..!

Have you ever picked and sneaked into someone else’s phone?? I know, its not an ethical thing to do and I am not proud of it at all. However, believe me it’s fun and full of thrill. I have done this a several times with my bro. My bro, he is 20, 6 feet tall, amazing jaw line, killing smile, and good physique so all in all he is handsome hunk and girls die to seek his attention.

Since childhood I always had loved to go thru his things. The moment he walks out of his room I get in and try to get my hands on something to blow a story of it. Then be it his cupboard or drawers, Cd and books rack nothing is safe when I am around. I did that many times while we were growing together which also made him cautious. However, cell phone is something that came in to existence when I moved out.

This time when I visited home, I was surprised to see him carrying not one but three cell phones. When I asked my mum she said "He does not listen and they all are old phones which I no longer use." On asking my dad he said “It seems either of the phone company offers some great deal every week so he keeps switching over when the deal is on.” Now, that’s a lame excuse my parents bought but not me so I decided to check his cell phones myself. Its risky because he hates if I touch any of his stuff but fun.

First time when I browsed his cell phone (Fly brand) he was taking a nap one after noon. During my investigation I found 3 numbers sending most of the romantic kind of texts. These numbers were not saved in his phone book which added fishiness to my intution so I embossed the last 4 digits of these three numbers in my mind. While I was doing my search, all of a sudden his phone rang and it was 5423 (last four digits) number.

I panicked and was sure to be dead. I had locked myself in his bathroom and before ring could woke him up I answered the call. Oh lord, it was a close call and I escaped. It was a girl on the line and the moment she realized it’s not my bro she went quite. Ah..! Thats when I said let me try something insane. I pretended as if my bro is there with me and said “There is some girl on the phone who is she? Why is she not talking? What is going on? Tell me?” and she hung up.

Damage done, I knew my bro would kill me if he gets to know what I have done so I deleted that call from the list and placed the phone where it was. I left his room thinking what I should do with the other two numbers.

Next time I got a chance with his Tata phone. It was late in the evening, he was sitting outside with his friends and this phone was at home getting charged. BTW, TATA offers 10 mins just in 1 rupee.

Coming back, the first thing I did was to turn his cell phone to silent mode. Next I browsed thru his inbox and found the same numbers here as well. I decided to select the number 1278 this time and sent a text saying “How are you swthrt, missin u??” Within 2 mins I got a reply “I am fine, u dnt seem to fne. Whts wrng wit u “swthrt, missing u”?R u OK”

I knew, I had done blunder and this girl is just a friend sending some forward texts to my bro. To save my ass, I deleted my msg from his out box and hers from the inbox. If she sends another text I would let my bro think, ponder and reply, I dont care. I have no idea what happened next but I am sure that girl would have taken him for a ride.

I got the third chance after two days when bro went to play cricket, he never carries cell phone if he is playing. Also at home, in my absence, his belongings are safe because my parents never barge into his space. However, poor thing forgot that I am at home. As usual I was only browsing thru his phone (Nokia) when a text beeped in.

First, I thought I won’t check, but believe me you cannot resist such a thing. Then in no time another one beeped and I gave up. First one said “Aap kya kar rahe ho?” sent from 5423. Second one said “Mein bore ho rahi hu. Can v meet for a coffi” sent from 6714

Unlike mailbox phone’s inbox does not have facility to make the text unread so I was left with no option but to delete these messages. In 5 mins I saw another text, they kept on coming for 2 hours and I kept on deleting them. It seemed to me that these girls did not know bro had plans to play cricket. My mum and dad also saw what I was doing, dad tried stopping me but mum as usual defended my action.

Finally, I decided to send one nasty text to both the girls and mess up things for my bro. Oh! I love doing that.

I text them “U R outta ur mind, akkal ghaas khane gai hai jo u sendin me such msg. Get lost and dont msg me or I will tell you dad” No beeps after this one. I waited for 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins but still phone was silent so I decided to send one more as a complimentary “Concentrate on studies and not me, I m sure ur dad wnt like this” Complete damage done...

After this incident I did not see my bro carrying his phones rather they all remained at home without any beeps or rings. I m sure he is still confused with them getting silent all of a sudden and I m wondering what he’ll do to me when he finds out.

Sunophobia

I am sure many of us would have come across situations, where you want a person to shut up but he/she goes on without your participation?? They want you to hear their tale and understand the level of their frustration.

My roomie wanted to quit her current company and join a MNC for better prospects. I encouraged her and said “Ha ha, bindas quit kar de. This is the right time, do it”
Next day she puts down her paper and her project rolls out an onsite opportunity. She was not considered since her papers are down… :( “Frustration”

My mom, it seems god has farced all sort of frustrations in her. “Your brother is useless, he flunked again. I don’t know what to do with him and your father is just not interested in listening to me.” “Frustration” Pause of 3 seconds and she starts again

“Look at your age, at this age I had two kids and you are still single. Your granny came yesterday and your chachi also along with her came your mami and…………… Please, speak to your brother. He is in 12th and if he flunks in his final, I don’t what will happen to his career………………………” “Frustration”
This went on for almost 30 mins. I was quite and pitied my brother. Poor thing has to face her daily and thanked god for helping me get a job in Bangalore.

My possessive boy friend (a boy who is friend ok), “So you came early today. How come?? Don’t you guys have work?? Whom did you come with?? Why him?? How come he also finishes his work and leaves at the same time?? I think he is interested in you. You girls can find out all such things very easily right, don’t you understand his feelings for you. Oh is that you like men flattering you all the time??” “Frustration”

I listened to his crap for almost 15 mins and finally broke my silence “Yes, we girls have six sense to tell us if a guy is interested or not. And my six sense is responding to nerves that you are the one fallen for me” “Frustration”

You cannot ask this category of humans to stop because he/she is your best friend, mother, boy friend whatever. You wish to say “Shut up” but the good angel in you don’t wish to upset them.
These are just a few incidents at personal front. Well, professionally things are different. You have your manager nagging, your colleague cribbing about her mother in law/maid/husband, some one wanting to listen to his saga on how he approached his latest love and got rejected…

Some other Frustrations:
• In laws staying with us “Frustration“
• Awful food at cafeteria “Frustration“
• Traffic on Hosur road “Frustration“
• Didn’t get good scores in CAT, MAT, FAT whatever “Frustration“
• Colleague got onsite “Frustration“
• No good hike “Frustration“

After all these sufferings, my pitiable ears started to shout at me for making them bear all this and then my witty mind developed a new quality. I call it being in “Sunophobia“, your mind starts to work the moment you ears come across something unwanted from your dear ones.

It has been helpful..!!

The Music Room.

My first book of an Indian author was English, August by Upmanayu Chatterjee, which was lent to me by a friend and since then no foreign author interested me.

My librarian in BTM found my dedication towards Indian author quite unusual. And, always helped me getting my hands on the best Indian Authors he had with him. Sometime back while I browsing thru a pile of books to read something light after Jaishree Mishra’s Afterwards he came and said, “Nothing will interest you in this dump, you better try this book” and gave me The Music Room by Namita Devidayal.

Looking at the title, I said to myself, girl you are gone. I am not much of music lover and do not know anything about taans or taals. I was sure to return the book in a day because everything written inside would be greek or latin to me. My librarian read this on my face, he grinned and said, “You will enjoy this book.” Though, I had my 100% doubts.Late that night I read some 5 pages and to my surprise book actually nailed my interest in Dhodutai. Who was a dedicated music lover and a teacher to many. Book portrays life of three legendary singers that our land has produced.

• Ustad Allaidya Khan, founder of Jaipur-Atrauli Gharana was one such singer of that time who was allowed to sing in Hindu temples at Kolhapur. Due to lot of singing for kings he had lost his voice, however, he did not give up and developed a new style of singing which became a benchmark.
• Kesarbai Kerkar, disiple of Khansib had carried forward the Jaipur-Atrauli Gharana. She earned many titles during her regime. She earned Padma Bhushan in 1969, Maharastra government gave her a title of “Rajya Gayika”, she was give a title “Surashi” by Sangeet Pravin Sangitanuragi Sajjan Saman Samiti of Calcutta and very year at Mumbai University a music festival is organized in her name where music scholarship is awarded to the deserving student.
• Dhondutai Kulkarni, is considered the last living icon of the Jaipur-Atrauli Gharana and the one who has never been in to limelight.

Book takes you thru the life of these three legends and explains the relationship of a teacher and disciple, music and musician, sacrifice and withhold, love and hate. It travels from 19th century to 21st from Kolhapur to Mumbai. With each story that Dhodutai unfolds, your interest to know more about Khasahib and Kesarbai deepens.

Namita Deviyal has beautifully described each moment that she had spent with her master listening to all her childhood days spent in Kolhapur. Infact, I was so much moved by all the stories that I visited Kolhapur myself. Rankala lake, where Khansahib use to stroll during the evenings, Mahalaxmi temple where he sang for goddess, Court of Shahu Maharaj where he was employed.

My next goal is to go to Mumbai and see the house where Kesarbai had spent her last days. And then meet Dhodutai the last living legend.

What this book didn’t have is a proper channel of promotion and that’s the reason hardly anyone knows about it. Its must read for everyone.

10 things men must not do

Women are the most unpredictable creatures that god happen to create. This is a universal fact and accepted by all. Their impulsive nature is one big reason why men are attracted to them and then get utterly confused. Men fail to understand them and do things when women least expect it.

I have heard it from many of my male friends that it is highly impossible to know what is going on in a woman’s mind. However, the fact is we ourselves don’t know what we want almost all the times. And this helps us make things more complex and complicated. Studies have proved this figures among men’s understanding on a women.

• 60% of men agree they can never understand a woman.
• 35% of men say they do understand them but are not confident if they understand them correctly
• 5% says they completely understand them. However this 5% of the numbers are the ones who had spent close to 25-30 years with their woman.

Here are the 10 things you must not do to upset your girl:
1. Never say anything inappropriate about her loved ones be it a brother, sister, mother, father or best friend. Women are very sensitive about their relations and can’t accept any unreasonable comments even though it is true.
2. Never ask her again and again why she is upset when you know you are the reason behind it. By doing this you are upsetting her more. Just leave her alone and she will open up herself.
3. Never say, “I love you” when you don’t mean it. Women are good at sensing, one glance at you and they can find out what you are thinking. Their edge on this sharpens with every passing year.
4. Never say “Good, you are not thinking about it. It is still not the time” when you are dead sure this is what she is thinking. You are making her believe that you do not care much about what she wants.
5. While you are with her, never lie to your parents in front of her when they ask where you are. When a woman truly falls in love she will never hide it from any one and expects the same from you.
6. Never ignore or cut her off while she is talking something which according to her is very important. Her important matter might be a wee thing for you but do not dare to ignore her.
7. Never appreciate other females when she is around. She might show her least bothered attitude but that is only to dig things out of you.
8. Never comment on a gift that she bought for you aiming for a surprise. At the same time do not go out of your way to compliment her shopping skills.
9. Never miss on small but important things like cards, gifts, flowers, teddies and chocolates. Be there an occasion or no occasion.
10. Never be late when she has planned an idea for a date

All the best..!!

Dumped

I saw this movie over a weekend with my roomies “How to loose a guy in 10 days” staring Kate Huston and Matthew McConaughey. Movie was a big disappointment and a regret. Not because of star cast, I mean, I love Matthew McConaughey he was great but theme of the movie was dire.

Reason to say so is because I assumed that movie might give me some new tricks and tips on this line. However, it became a disappointment since all tricks shown in the movie were no different. Rather, my ideas and experience can be of more help.

Few tricks in the flick where:

1. Most of the men get attracted to women who are smart, witty and intelligent. That’s when they say to their friends “She is the one!” However, when you realize that the man you are dating is not the “MAN” for you, make sure become reverse of smart, witty and intelligent that is dumb and girly, fussy, choosy and idiot. This would confuse him and he will start to rethink about everything.
2. Call him at odd hours like when he is in a meeting or in between a presentation. Be it any time just call and talk stupid “Baby, I am missing you… booo booo booo” and make him also say such thing when you know his peers are around him.
3. Reach his office with no notice. Then try becoming cozy, close, stupid, and dim when his colleagues come to say a hello.
4. Jump in to him when he is having boys out with his friends and irritate him and his friends to the core. Make him and his friends put off their cigarettes, make him blow his nose in front of every one. Start to weep if he does not respond to you..
5. Call his dick with some feminine name when he is turned on. “What is my princess Sophia doing”. Ding, dong & bang, of course no men would like to hear his dick being call princess Sophia. 6. Become snappy about any small issue.

These were the few tricks shown in the movie and out of six I tried almost five of them. Didn’t get a chance to try 3rd yet but I am looking forward to it.

For the sixth point, here are few tested lines, which I personally recommend
• Why did you not call me?
• You think I have a fat ass
• You think I am dumb huh, you certainly don’t love me anymore
• Why the hell did you look at that aunty, oh! Her big boobs drew your attention. That’s what you don’t love me but you are only with me for physical things

There are many such subjects that you can pick up, exaggerate and frustrate your guy.

Anyways, the guy I am seeing doesn’t seem to understand anything. And the good “Angle” in me does not allow me to become blunt because he has been very sweet to me all this while. He was around when I went thru a rough time. He is a good friend but not the one with whom I wish to spend my life…

These are few more tricks that I tired:

1. One day I took his cell and asked him to remove all the female names that he has on it. No help, he thought I did so because I am possessive for me… And he loved it.
2. I started calling him at such a time when I knew he would not answer my call. Like when he is driving or getting ready for office or in the shower. No help, he started to keep his cell on vibe mode while driving and even carried it in bathroom so that he does not miss my call.
3. I started irritating him every time he visited his family. No help, he made his mother speak to me once and got her doubt clarified.
4. He has off only on Sundays so I started to hang out with my other male friends on Saturday and purposefully told him. No help, he did not object. Instead he said “I am giving you your space. I trust you, it does not matter with whom you go”
5. I started to make big fuss when any foul words came out of his mouth fuck you, asshole, bastard and even shit is not allowed when I am around. However, I used them intentionally when I am with him. He hates to hear them but doesn’t object. No help
6. He is found giving me cards be it any occasion or no occasions and I loose them, I don’t do it purposefully, it’s just that I am no good at maintaining track of such things. And I am blatant in telling him that I have lost his card. No help, he started buying flowers and cards.
7. This trick is very helpful and it hurts a man very hard. I praise my male friends in front of him or I’ll talk about my ex-boyfriend and point out the goods of him. This did help me but not to a great extent. He did tell me once that he doesn’t wish to hear all this I ignored it and continued. No help, he started ignoring every time I start this topic. He has one great reply “All humans are not alike.”
8. I don’t answer his calls, what I mean is, out of his 4 phone calls I only attend one. When he asks what happened I say “Busy, I have other things to do apart from attending your calls”. No help.
9. I tried to hook him with other chicks. Got him registered on 3 matrimonial sites and started searching a girl for him. No help, he rejects every one.
10. I reach late almost all the times we go out for dinner or movie. Also, I make sure to reach late for movies he is keen on watching and would not want to miss even a single min. No help he gets DVD of them and watch then again at home…

I have tried many things to get rid of him. I talk rude and blunt, show my attitude and arrogance but he just doesn’t retaliate to any. I surely look like a devil here right, but what can I do… I see a friend in him and nothing more. I did try telling him this but he doesn’t seem to understand. He has a hope that someday I will fall in love with him but I know that he is not the one…

I am certain that he would make sure my eyes never get tears however he does not see that there is no love for him in them. He is a great friend to have but at times his concern irritates me.

Till the time I don’t dump him, my experiments will continue and apparently my tips will increase its count.

Straight Lie..!

This incident is one of the best experiences I had recently. During the long weekend (15th Aug – 17th Aug), I decided to visit my parents in Gujarat. While returning, my flight was from Vadodara to Bangalore via Mumbai.

I was offered a window seat and next to me was a guy named Viren Gupta who had boarded this flight from Dehli. Looking at him, I guessed he was 28-30 years and a software engineer for sure, over confident and was wearing an “I am something” attitude. I usually avoid talking and prefer to spend my time either reading books or dozing. However, he was very much interested in starting a conversation with me .

First, when I offered him to move to the window seat so that I can take the middle seat or last one in the row, he said no and moved to let me go in with a broad smile. 10 mins later, this is how he started “Hi, I am Viren, I board this flight from Delhi. Are you going to Bangalore.” I gave an uninspiring look and nodded. Seems he wasn’t satisfied. Then the other question “What book are you reading? Who is the author?”

I gave a jejune reply ”Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahri”

There he gets a chance to impress me… “Oh sheeee…. well she isn’t that good writer. People have hyped her for no reason. One book got a chance to become a movie and she is all over the nation.” Of course, I didn’t like his comments because I know the kind of books she writes and so I asked him if he has ever read any of her books or even bothered to watch the movie… He said “NO” I hate when someone try acting over smart and comment on things they don’t even know…

I was not willing to get in to any kind of conversation with him but seems he decided get on a ride with me. Again, he asked “Where u working???” He was not letting me read my book and was getting on my nerves now.

That was all…. I closed my book and started with my story telling… I said “I am unemployed… Rather, I don’t need to work. I love traveling and this was my first visit to Gujarat.”
This statement grew his curiosity. So I get few more questions, like how was the city, people and all that crap…

I said “Hmm… things went fine because CM Narendra Modi is my uncle and I was with him in Gandhinagar. He is one who sponsored my tickets.” Bingo…!!! After saying this, I knew he will doubt my lies so I added “He lives at sector# 40 CM’s bungalow, Gandhinagar” and asked him if he has ever visited Gujarat. As expected he did not. Thank god..!! I was safe

He was startled to this… Now, even I was finding it funny and interesting to deceit him… So I went on. I told him that I use to work with IBM but quit because of personal reasons and after my personal mess was cleaned, I decided to travel all around India. I elaborated only about the places I had visited. Like “A month back I was in Simla and Chandigard then was in Goa and now finished with Gujarat.”

No word from him… I could see he did not believe me when I mentioned I had been traveling all alone. Anyways, who cares? Then I started with all mind eating questions… “Viren do u know, the mechanism how these oxygen mask fall when oxygen level goes down in a plane..?” Pause I shot another question “Do u know the kind of fuel plane uses to fly??

Err..!! He was completely perplexed and didn’t know what to say… I loved each expression that came on his face… Thank god he did not ask me for answers bcoz I didn’t know it myself… ;)
Now, he wanted to put off the conversation but I was not done yet. We were about to land in Mumbai for 30 mins, when I shot my last bullet… I told him that my personal mess which I had mentioned a while back was about my husband…

“Husband??????” he asked
I said “Yes, he left me all alone with so much of money that I don’t know what to do… so I am spending it traveling all around in India.” Before he could ask anything I continued “You know, I lost him two months back”

Here I wished to have had camera and captured his picture. Now the last jhataka… I said “He was HIV+ and I was unaware of this before marriage… You know we just got married last year and within 7 months he passed away.” That was all to make him nervous…
His face had almost all kind of colors passing thru…. first red, then yellow, blue, green and finally he went pale…At Mumbai he got his seat changed and I was relived.

However, his departure also conveyed that still people (even educated class) are unaware of what and how AIDS is speard.

I never thought of making such a story when started the conversation with him. But his growing interest to know me made me do all this.

God forgive me..!!