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Sunday, April 29, 2012

I am distant from....

Alright, this was long awaited.. Ah nothing big but yes its after an year I finally got into a phase of writing… Its not that I never got a thought of writing but you need to be in right state of mind to do it. I did get in to that phase many a times however my phase did not last for more than 5 mins.

They say motherhood is the best thing that can ever happen to a woman, yes indeed. But why the hell they did not tell what all you have to stay away from. Oh my god, there are so many things, rather every thing u love to do, you will stop doing. Here is a quick count.

Pubs and discos, folks close to me know what a freak I was and now somewhere from within I hear a voice “You are a mother now, don’t even think of it”. Well if these words don’t discourage then it says “Look at yourself, you are completely out of shape to be there”. And that’s it, damage is done and with time idea of going to such place will gradually and eventually fade away.

Beauty parlor, there was time when you never missed your parlor appointment and u never dared to step out with being threaded but now comes the time it wont mater. You are so much engulfed in your child that going to parlor becomes a waste of time. I am not exaggerating here but there were days after baby came that I had not seen in the mirror even for a single moment.

Spending quality time with your better half, what is that??? We do speak to each other and we do share our tales but these days day tale only has one character in it. “Oh you know what he did today, oh you know what he ate today, oh you know he did not shit today.....” My briefing starts from Ansh and ends up on him and in between if I recall that other Ansh we also have life I will ask my husband about his day. But guess what, my husband is quick enough to drag me where I was with my tale. “Did u take him for stroll, is he having his food properly, I think he is putting on weight……..” Its endless…

Sleep…. I love being in this state and have become very emotional about it. I don’t know when was the last time I had a sound sleep, maybe one year back or more I guess. You won’t believe it but now my prayers have changed… Each day during my prayers I request my dear lord to let my son sleep for atleast 4 hours in row. It has not yet happened and I am waiting for my prayers to get heard. There are days when all you want is 30 mins of nap and your dear child grins at you. As if he is saying no mama this isn’t what I want. I want you to do inky pinky ponkey and those new steps you did yesterday.

Gossip…. Work gossip forget it, you wont even feel like talking or even thinking about work. Then follows gossip with friends, well after baby you will be forced to ab abandon “Gossip”. My dear friends pity me and don’t call because they feel baby keeps me busy and I don’t call them because yes baby does keep me busy. The other active gossiper in my life is my mother, she has got so much to tell but I simply shut her down. And recently, my closing her down gave her a feeling that baby has got onto my nerve and that’s the reason I am no longer interested in “”Gossip”. And then I asked myself “Did I really gave up on Gossip?? What am I turning into and there comes the inner voice MOTHER”

Shopping… Girls are shopoholic so am I, no so was I. Its like saying once up on time I shopped like a freak without worrying about price tags. And now comes the time that the only section I want to visit is kids’ zone. You will have 100 reasons to not buy anything for yourself and will have 200 reasons to buy things for you child, “Oh he is my first child he deserves this, he is the only child he deserves this, he is so cute he deserves this”. I crossed my line when I ended my buying a pink frock for my son why?? Simply because it was really pretty and beautiful and well we all know girls have got so many choices to make when it comes to clothing. In other words you will have endless reasons to buy the most stupid thing for your kid and you will defend these reasons and win with no struggle.

If I go on, I believe my list wont end, crux is your child will bring a lot of change in and around you. And with each passing day you realize nothing is more important then being with your little one. Yeah, I do miss each of the fun stuff I have mentioned but then all this looks so petty when Ansh looks at me smiles. Thats what he is doing now so time to go and have a blast with him...

Will come back soon....!

Friday, April 27, 2012

My angel

You are my angel, you are my world.
What would I have done without you..
You are my heart, you are my soul...
You mean everything in this world...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Somethings can never be explained

Some say its stupid
Some say its idiotic-ness
Some say its nonsense
Some say its chemistry
Some say its spark
Some say its understanding
Some say its fire
Some say it will get over
Some say it will last forever
Some say its love

Its been 7 long years and we are still standing tall…

I say its my life and I know I cant stay without it……………….!!!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Dedicated to Mr Duboise..!

I am back almost after 5 months...! Had a very tight schedule all this while... There were so many things I wanted to share and write but bloody work is just not allowing me... On the otherhand I cant stopping loving my work.. Off late I have been contradicting to almost everything I say or do...


I want to quit my job but I love my work...
I love being away from my family but miss them the most...
I love Vish but I fight with him the most...
I love shopping but regret each time I come back home with all fancy stuff..


Don’t know what phase of life I am into...

And then I remember what Mr. Duboise said to me
"Sandipa, I dont have a job that gives great money.
But I have time to see sun rise and set every day.
I have time to read this is what I love doing.
I have time to cook and watch movies not only on weekends but weekdays.
I want money to buy me a living and not luxury..
I am doing what I want to do."

I was speechless and we both went quite. He looked at me and said "Let me get u the finest wine of France because thats what you you need now" 

It was the greatest wine I ever tasted..

And since then I am thinking can I ever be like Mr Duboise??
I guess not..!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

What was I doing?

My last visit home was meant only for a week but then my mum’s senti dialogues made me extend it by a week more. I had a mission for these days, capturing the best my city has to offer which I mostly did during the afternoons. However, evenings were not spared. My mum made me accompany her for almost all the daily soaps that she loved watching. 15 days and there I go……
  • Pavithra Rista: Regular Saas Bahu story with loads of masalas. Saas’s character is my mum fav she keeps saying poor bahu I can certainly understand her situation. I did not bother to ask her what she understood.
  • Uttaran: A triangular love story that is getting transformed in to square now. Such an idiotic tale.
  • Baalika Vadhu: Nice concept but now no longer on the same track.
  • Agle janam mohe….: Love story of a mistress, if I understood it correctly.
  • Jyoti: Again a love story mixed with so many concepts that you fail to understand where its heading.
  • Laagi tujse lagan: Pretty poor girl made to look ugly by her mum, escapes from a cop who hits on her. She falls in love with her employer who loves someone else unaware of her beauty, gosh..!
  • Maan Uthal Varayacha – Marathi: Village girl married to a filthy rich boy in Mumbai. Plot is all about her struggle in getting accustomed to her new lifestyle and family. 
To my surprise after returning to Bangalore I started literally started tracking these dailies. Believe me its fun to watch and predict the next big thing. Its always someone dieing, escaping or some jerk hopping in from no where with those extra sound effects and multi dimensional angles. It turned out to be the ultimate end to my boredom in Bangalore when my assignment was getting over and I had minimal work to do.


Heights of my insanity was crossed when I and mum started discussing it over the phone. That’s when I said enough and thanked IPL for making the entry at the right time. Otherwise, god knows what would have had happened to me.